When Your Shadow Is Your Biggest Bully


Let’s talk about her. You know the one. That insistent whisper in your mind, the one that shows up when you dare to dream too big or love yourself a little too loudly. She’s the inner critic who rolls her eyes at your reflection, scoffs at your ambition, and resurrects your worst moments like a highlight reel of shame and self-doubt.

That voice? That’s your shadow.

And let’s be honest—sometimes, she’s an absolute menace.

I know her well. I’ve spent countless mornings at the bathroom mirror, afternoons in boardroom chairs, and quiet nights in bed with her coiled around my confidence. She is cunning, cloaking her criticism in the name of caution, or “realism.” She’s always prepared with a list of reasons why you shouldn’t try, shouldn’t ask for more, shouldn’t believe in yourself.

But here’s what I’ve learned after years of trying to quiet her: your shadow isn’t trying to destroy you. She’s trying to protect you.

Understanding the Shadow

In the world of personal growth, “shadow work” might sound like an abstract, ethereal concept reserved for journal pages and incense-scented retreats. But truly, it’s one of the most grounding, gritty, and healing practices we can commit to.

Your shadow is the sum of your hidden hurts—those tender spots formed by rejection, shame, criticism, or unmet expectations. She is the version of you who took on the world’s pain before you had the tools to process it. And now? She’s the part of you scanning for danger, even when you’re just trying to be brave. 

Read More: https://peonymagazine.com/mind-spirit/when-your-shadow-is-your-big-bully/

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